EV: do I really need to change my theme? I spent a lot of time procrastinating on this.

EV: mobeener (n.)- a bug I squashed that looks like a mosquito except the stinger was on the wrong side and too long

EV: my underwear is inside out but I’m too lazy to change it

NÉ: in science class today we learned that if you want your house to be more quiet, for windows, you put two layers of glass with air in between.

You know what my classmate said?

…

Then how would you hear the trash truck?

NÉ (8yo): once Kate and I were in the bathroom and there was blood in the toilet. Kate said, “gross. What is that?”

Me: and did you tell her?

NÉ: yep. I told her what AE told me.

Me: and what did AE tell you?

NÉ: she told me I would understand when I was older.

(Me trying to get in the shower to wash NÉ. NÉ holding the door shut and not letting me in)

Me: NÉ, let me in

NÉ: nope

Me: I’m going to count to three and then you’re going to shower yourself

NÉ: (eyes taunting)

Me: one… two…

NÉ: what’s the magic password? (eyes taunting)

Me: THREE! Ok, you shower yourself! Buh-bye! (Turn around and start to walk away)

NÉ: (opening the shower door) You guessed it! The magic password was “1-2-3! You shower yourself! Buh-bye!”

(After hiking 700m up a steep hill in the forest)

NÉ: this is sooooo not worth it. In America, we would have drove to a place like this, got out of the car, taken a picture, and then driven away

Kids: How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore…

AE (13y.o.): I think that might be a bad word.

NÉ (8y.o.): what word?

AE: whore

NÉ: No, it’s “hor”, like a “hor[ror] movie”

Me: wow, the girl I just interviewed used some pretty sophisticated words.

AE: like what?

EV: like “sophisticated”?

AE: hey, if I were hitchhiking, should my thumb go up or down?